The Psychology of Crying: Why We Shed Tears and How It Helps

11 July 2025

Crying is something we all do. Whether it’s from sadness, joy, frustration, or even relief, shedding tears is a deeply human experience. But have you ever stopped to wonder why we cry? What happens in our minds and bodies when tears start flowing? And most importantly, how does crying actually help us?

In this article, we’ll dive into the fascinating psychology behind crying, uncover the reasons why we shed tears, and explore the many ways it benefits us emotionally and physically.

The Science Behind Tears

Before we get into the emotional side of things, let’s start with the basics—what exactly are tears?

Tears are produced by the lacrimal glands located above each eye. But not all tears are the same. In fact, scientists have identified three distinct types:

1. Basal Tears – These are the everyday tears that keep our eyes lubricated and protect them from dust or irritants.
2. Reflex Tears – These tears are a response to external irritants like smoke, onions, or bright lights. Their job is to flush out unwanted substances.
3. Emotional Tears – These are the tears we shed when we feel sadness, happiness, frustration, or overwhelming emotions. These are the tears we’ll be focusing on.

Interestingly, emotional tears have a unique chemical composition compared to the other types. They contain stress hormones and natural painkillers, which suggests that crying plays a role in emotional regulation.

Why Do We Cry?

Crying is often seen as a sign of weakness, but in reality, it serves a powerful purpose. Here are some of the main reasons why we shed emotional tears:

1. Emotional Release

Ever felt like you were holding in a storm of emotions, only to feel better after a good cry? That’s because crying acts as an emotional release valve. When emotions build up inside us—whether it’s sadness, frustration, or even happiness—crying helps us process and express them in a healthy way.

2. Reducing Stress

Tears contain cortisol, the primary stress hormone. When we cry, we’re literally flushing stress out of our system. No wonder we often feel lighter and more relaxed afterward! It’s like nature’s way of hitting the reset button on our emotions.

3. Signaling for Help

Crying is a powerful social signal. From infancy, we rely on crying to communicate our needs. As adults, tears still serve this purpose. When we cry in front of others, it sends a clear message—we need support, comfort, or connection. And more often than not, it works!

4. Strengthening Bonds

Have you ever noticed how crying in front of someone can make you feel closer to them? That’s because crying triggers empathy. When we see someone shedding tears, it activates our brain’s mirror neurons, making us more likely to offer comfort and emotional support.

5. Processing Grief and Trauma

Grief is complex, and crying is a natural way to process it. Tears help us navigate loss by allowing us to express and release the intense emotion tied to it. While crying won’t erase the pain, it helps in the healing journey.

The Psychological Benefits of Crying

Now that we know why we cry, let’s take a closer look at the incredible psychological benefits that come with shedding tears.

1. Enhanced Mood

It might seem counterintuitive, but crying can actually boost your mood. Emotional tears release oxytocin and endorphins, also known as “feel-good” chemicals. These act as natural painkillers, helping to lift your spirits after a tearful episode.

2. Improved Emotional Regulation

Bottling up emotions can be harmful. If you suppress your feelings for too long, they might come out in unhealthy ways—like sudden outbursts or chronic stress. Crying allows us to process emotions in a controlled, natural manner, making it easier to regulate our emotional well-being.

3. Better Sleep

Ever noticed how you sleep better after crying? That’s because emotional tears have a calming effect, reducing stress levels and promoting relaxation. Crying before bed can release tension and make it easier to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

4. Increased Self-Awareness

Crying forces us to confront our emotions rather than ignore them. This self-reflection leads to greater self-awareness, helping us understand what triggers our emotions and how we can better cope with challenges in the future.

5. Encourages Emotional Connection

Being vulnerable enough to cry in front of someone fosters emotional closeness. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or partner, shedding tears can strengthen relationships by deepening trust and understanding.

Why Some People Struggle to Cry

While crying is natural, some people find it incredibly difficult to shed tears—even during profoundly emotional moments. There are several reasons why this might happen:

- Societal Expectations – Many cultures, particularly for men, discourage crying, associating it with weakness. Over time, this conditioning can make it harder to cry even when emotions demand it.
- Emotional Numbness – People suffering from depression, anxiety, or trauma sometimes experience emotional numbness, making it difficult to cry.
- Personality Differences – Some individuals are simply wired to be less emotionally expressive than others.

If you struggle to cry but feel you need an emotional release, engaging in art, music, journaling, or therapy can help you process emotions in alternative ways.

Healthy Ways to Embrace Crying

Crying is not something to be ashamed of—it’s part of being human. Here are some ways to embrace and even benefit from a good cry:

- Create a Safe Space – Find a private, comfortable place where you feel secure enough to let your emotions flow.
- Listen to Music or Watch a Movie – Sometimes, a touching song or film can help unlock emotions when you need to cry but can’t.
- Talk to Someone You Trust – Sharing your feelings with a loved one can provide comfort and help you process emotions more easily.
- Practice Self-Compassion – Remind yourself that crying is normal, healthy, and a sign of emotional strength—not weakness.

Final Thoughts

Crying is one of the most natural ways humans process emotions. Whether it’s a reaction to sadness, happiness, frustration, or relief, shedding tears serves a psychological and physiological purpose. It helps reduce stress, improves mood, strengthens relationships, and even leads to deeper self-awareness.

So the next time you feel overwhelmed, don’t fight back the tears. Let them flow. It’s your mind’s way of healing, releasing, and growing.