Why You Care If I Think You Matter

March 7, 2026 - 19:34

What drives our deepest fears, our social bonds, and even our political conflicts? According to philosopher and novelist Rebecca Newberger Goldstein, a recipient of the prestigious MacArthur Fellowship, the answer lies in what she terms "the mattering instinct." This fundamental human need to feel that our existence is significant and that we are valued by others is surprisingly essential to both individual psychology and the structure of societies.

In her latest work, Goldstein argues that this instinct is not a mere desire for fame, but a basic requirement for a coherent sense of self. We crave to matter to our families, our communities, and to causes larger than ourselves. This drive influences everything from childhood development to our engagement in social movements. When this instinct is thwarted—when individuals or groups feel they do not matter—the consequences can be profound, leading to personal despair or societal fragmentation.

The concept challenges us to consider how we acknowledge the significance of others in our daily interactions and within our institutions. Goldstein’s exploration suggests that fostering environments where people feel they genuinely matter may be a key to addressing broader issues of alienation and discord. Her philosophical investigation provides a compelling lens through which to examine the timeless human quest for meaning and connection in an increasingly complex world.